Inflate detachment and deflate your ego to avoid stress wrecks!

I took a two hour level 4 rope class from Nuvana at Sunset Yoga. A combination of backbends, standing poses and inversions on the ropes - I was thoroughly exhausted and so was the class. Most of them were senior students and teachers themselves. I realized how much of my ego I have let go in these last two years. I was most challenged as I am most tight everywhere - except for my head I hope. I didn't push to hard - but I did scrape my ankle while attempting a hand stand while holding the ropes. The sharp edges of the wood planks that hold the ropes the culprit. I left energized but tired at the same time.


There was a stress management class at work right after and I couldn't have picked a better time - immediately following a yoga class. I have been encouraging my employees to take yoga and have only been successful in convincing one - she takes Nuvana's back care class. Our medical insurance company United Healthcare offers free classes on wellness and despite themselves, this is probably one of the best things they do for their members.


I have taken stress management classes in the past, but this one simply brought it all together - summed it up for me. Everything we learn in Iyengar yoga, the whole body-mind connection, it all made sense. The instructor talked about the stresses in life. Most of us are stressed by work. Isn't that incredible. We get stressed by this very crucial activity in life and its caused by what she described as myths we live by. Do these sound familiar ?

- I must never make a mistake
- I must never fail
- I must never look foolish
- I must work hard all the time
- I must never get angry
- I must always play safe
- The customer is always right!
- I must live up to expectations of my _____(wife, kids, father, mother, boss, employer, customer)
- I must always deliver on time
- I have to be the best _____________(worker, mother, father, husband, son, daughter)



These myths haunt us in every aspect of our lives and it is these myths that have been ingrained in us since we were children, is why we get stressed. Stress is unavoidable. Experts discuss "good stress" and "bad stress". Any stress will increase the amount of endorphins in our bodies. Stress is addictive and we are addictive to our routines by nature. It went on.... I was listening with rapped attention till the question came up about what caused the most stress in our work place. My answer "when there was an unhappy customer on the phone". That is when the blame game starts. Egos are inflated, fingers are pointed, customers are wronged and stress levels rise to incredible levels.



There are many other events, especially for me, as I sit on the top of the pyramid - all roads end in my office and with me. This is not an ego statement - just reality of someone in a position as the head of the business. My head is only the chopping block when things go wrong. I can't blame anyone but myself. I used to be bogged down by stress - employees, investors, customers, board members. Even a benign phone call from an investor would stress me out. I had set myself for a burnout.



As I sat listening to this instructor talk I realized how much I had changed in the last two years. She talked about how to handle stressful situations, about breathing, tightening your muscles, about a short timeout to calm down. All these concepts were so familiar - I was practicing them without being aware of them and I attribute this all to the yoga practice and the readings of books by Mr. Iyengar and others. I finally had something to say to my employees and that had nothing to do with inspiring them to work harder, faster and make more money. It had to do with dealing with anger, emotions, our addiction and infatuation with success and abhorrence to failure. The instructor put the final word in my mouth; "DETACHMENT"!



We are addicted to adrenaline and the rush that comes with it. This causes stress. Whether its anger because of failure or unmet expectations, or the rush we get from success. They are both culprits. Why can't we just be neutral I asked the group! Why be addicted to anger or happiness? Why not detach from both? I am not suggesting we don't try to be happy, but isn't being happy all the time stressful. How can you be happy and pleased constantly. But we spend enormous energy and time seeking "happiness". I realized how much of "I am not happy" I had heard in the last 12 years and how sick that had made me. If you can't be happy, why not just detach from the damn happiness and take a deep breath for a change. Your quest for happiness without learning how to detach will drive you crazy and everyone else around you. That has been my experience, now that I have developed some clarity of mind and thought.



So today, I don't seek happiness - I just seek less stress. Less stress means more detachment, less ego which results in more neutrality in life. So many of us are constantly chasing happiness and the meaning of our lives. In the most animistic words and this is with utter humility and respect - the purpose of our life is to "live", reproduce and then die. To live means to survive and survival comes with stress. It is no different than the lives of the mice that have moved in my basement, and visit the garbage can every night for food. There lives have been disrupted by the construction and deforestation. We are in constant battle, they want survival, I want them out. Living is stressful. And stress can kill us before our time is up. It can destroy all the work we put into our survival and will never make us happy. So why not live our lives in ways that doesn't cause too much of it! We will be healthier and more peaceful. There will be less war!



I watched Michael Phelps win 8 gold medals at the Olympics. I am certain it gives him utmost happiness. He deserves it. He has worked for it as a child. You see his mother weep on TV every time he wins a gold medal. I am sure they are tears of joy and happiness and accomplishment. His father is absent. Where is he? Why isn't he part of the success? I went on the net and found out that he is no longer speaking to his father. That must be stressful and bigger stress than the expectation the world set for him to win these 8 gold medals. I am uncertain how this will impact Phelps in his future... but I had to detach from those thoughts. I watch the destruction in Georgia and the troops from big brother Russia destroying a small country. Why? Because of Ego, power and inability to remain neutral. All this stresses me out! I have to detach; fast.....

Many of these stress management trainers, therapists and experts tell us to breathe. The instructor did the same. She concluded with words like time out and breathe! What she didn't offer was how do you breathe. All of the attendees were sitting slouched over the table. How could you breathe properly when your chest is folded and lungs collapsed. I gave a small tip (and thank you my Iyengar Yoga gurus for constantly reminding me of this...)



- Lift up your sternum and lift from the sides of your chest
- Straighten your spine
- Roll your shoulders back and pull your shoulders down to create the space to open your chest
- If you are on your chair - straighten your arms
- clasp your hands and stretch your arms back to create even more space
- Now close your eye and BREATHE!



At the end of the class I asked the group how many of them would be interested in taking an easy yoga class at work that included breathing. All hands raised! I felt I had made a difference. Thank you BKS Iyengar for guiding me and making me more neutral. Two years of yoga had also taught me something else of great value that I share - it was on how to breathe!




Namaste


The Yogi

One night in Frankfurt - Summer heat and no sleep

The Lufthansa strike forced me to overnight in Frankfurt yesterday. I left India one day early in order to ensure I arrived home by August 5th and avoid further delays. I surely would have missed my connection otherwise.

What a break! I was put in a hotel in town. The Euro is twice as expensive as the not so mighty dollar now. My last experience with spending money in Germany was in 1991, when we had a fair advantage. No More! Frankfurt is a small city with one of the biggest and busiest airports in the world. I didnt realize how small it was and how dead it was. Its a financial hub of Europe - the downtown is simply full of banks.

The hotel called "Victoria Hotel" was at average the best. For the same rate not only did I enjoy a very modern and airconditioned room in Pune, but a free ride to work every day and service to my beck and call. This hotel had no concept of service. I was asked to come down to get a US style plug - which turned out they didnt have. Yesterday was one of the warmest days in Frankfurt. The concept of airconditioning is quite different here. Its just a gentle buzzing sound of the vent, with no cool air. The heat was unbearable. When I called to complain I was told - "this is not America sir, we don't require much airconditioning". Aha... Incredible Germany! I should remember.

The hotel was located in a cultural hub. Bars, restaurants, food stores, cafes representing every culture. Indian, Turkish, Lebanese, Chinese, Japanese - you name it and it was there all around the block. That was the saving grace but at the same time the death knell for peace and tranquility - not to mention several Beer Pubs. I have never seen so many BMWs and Mercedes parked in one spot. I walked around to the center of town. The only place where I could see some crowds. All you can hear is the noise of speeding cars - people drive aggressive here. A city very different from Munich.

I tried to find a yoga studio but none to be found - what I found instead was a row of Indian restaurants and grocery stores. I skiped Indian and tried Turkish and Thai food instead. So for a change I simply spent the day walking. The train station was amazing and you could just walk into the center of the universe for every European city. This is where you experience the culture. Cafes, stores, people and yes - Starbucks and McDonalds. I needed that! Interestingly enough other than the noise of cars whizing by, you couldn't really get a sense of the crowds, everyone relatively quiet.

The real action started after 10 pm, when the bars opened. I must have dozed off at 10 pm, with windows open to let the breeze in. And then around 2 am I was woken up by violent screaming and yelling. I thouht I heard Indian, but no it was either Turkish or German. A male was screaming bloody murder which could be heard accross the block and then wailing and screaming of a famale. It was non spot. I was frightened, but at the same time I wasn't sure if I should call the front desk. Sounded like a drunken brawl. It must have continued for an hour. I lost track of the time and the room felt like an oven.

I dozed off at 5 am and then the alarm woke me up at 6 am. It was time to get going to the airport and home. At check out the front desk person asked how my stay was - I said fine except for this fighting and noise last night. He responded "don't have the same problems where you come from"? I wasn't sure if he was refering to my country of birth or my country of domicile. I said well - depends but I am not used to such noise in the middle of the night. Breakfast was not ready as promised at 630 am. The waitress rolled in around 645 am, but promptly brought coffee and the cold breakfast was great. I took the whole experience in a stride. I didn't get much sleep, but it was a nice short break.

This will not be my last trip to Frankfurt, as it is where I usually change flights, but am not sure I will voluntarily spend another day outside the airport. Maybe Zurich, Berlin, Munich or Cologne or Stuttgart. I have a long list of cities I want to visit.

I am on my way back home finally and can't wait to see my two munchkins who I dearly miss. Yoga in Pune did me really good.

Namaste

The Yogi

Incredible India!

My journey back to Oregon started at 10 pm last night. Mumbai International airport has been ripped up as all international and domestic airports undergo facelifts. It was crazy, the traffic was bad and I saw more crowds outside bidding their departing loved ones good bye. The airport was packed - with many more flights and airlines flying out that evening all at once. Things felt chaotic, but once I was checked in I simply had a long walk to the gate. I had to switch to Swiss Air as Lufthansa flights were cancelled due to a strike in Germany - yes they cancelled flights to India, one of their most promising and always full market, but not the US flights.

As I went through immigration and was waiting to take the escalator down to the gate, I saw a big sign hanging in front "INCREDIBLE INDIA". I also simultaneously heard one of the Swiss flight attendants heading to the gate make a snide comment on that sign. She probably didn't see what was so incredible about India - the noise, chaos, upheavel, poverty. That is all she could see. I had a strong desire to respond back, be defensive, but I stopped. I realized that was her view and I had to show indifference, thanks to the advice some time back by Nina Pileggi. The sutras tell us to be indifferent. I had to be indifferent.

As I walked through the maze of construction towards my gate within minutes the sight of the airport changed from Chaos, to a modern terminal. Only part of the terminal had been finished, but boy what a contrast. Suddenly the dusty, musty chaos has changed to sights I am familiar with at other international airports. Nice cafes, clean restrooms, well organized sitting areas. There were crowds, but everyone was lined up in queues to get to theri flights. There was buzz, no different than any busy airport. I felt I was in another world......

The Jet Airways crew looked the smartest - they reminded me of Singapore Airlines crew - young vibrant and most fashionably dressed. Anyone flown Jet Airways lately? They are ready to take over the world with their incredible service at the global level. They have literally revived the Brussels airport and the defunct Sabina airlines, but making Brussels their international hub. This year Jet Airways made a huge profit, despite rising oil prices, while other airlines stuggle with losses. Jet is flying every where. There were at least five Jet flights that night to Bankok, London, Brussels, Shanghai, and Hong Kong. Jet is part of the Incredible India. For years they have had an incredible domestic service, setting new standards in quality and service. Now they are emerging into the global scene and their goal is to displace Singapore Airlines as the number 1 airline in the world for service.

As I settled myself in the Swiss Air aircraft - a half empty plane that looked aged and haggard. No wonder they went bankrupt and got acquired by Lufthansa. I realized they were no Lufthansa, but they certainly were no Jet Airways. I had trouble getting the seat to adjust and the same flight attendant profusely apologized.... "we will be having new seats next year"... I smirked and said to myself - Incredible Swiss! The universe strikes back!

As I settled myself, I took out a book I had just purchased - "The Elephant, the Tiger and the Cellphone" by Shashi Tharoor. Imagine t0 my surprise - the entire theme of the book was about the incredible transformation that is happening in India today. I am still reading it but I was quite enlightened.

India is a bundle of contradictions - there is extreme wealth right next to extreme poverty. This year India had more billionaires on the Forbes list than any other nation other than the US. More than Russia, Japan and China. Number one in the emerging economies. At the same time 212 million Indians live below poverty lines. 50 years ago 350 million did. 50 percent of Indians are below 35 years of age - an incredible demographic of 500 million people. Suddenly what was India's biggest weakness, is suddenly being viewed as its strength - the largest middle class in the world. The largest English speaking nation in the world.

The country is going through a gigantic transformation both economically, socially and culturally. It is the biggest democracy in the world but at the same time about 100 of the 500 elected members of its parliament have criminal records and three recently had to be released from jail for 3 days to vote on an important matter of keeping the current government in place. What a contradiction - but despite these problems, the counrty is growing at at tremendous pace, approaching 10% GDP growth a year. It has reserves of $300 billion. Contrast this to 20 years ago, when it had to mortgage its gold reserves to pay its debt. The country was bankrupt.

So what is so incredible about India? Whats incredibe is that despite itself, India is going to become an incredible nation and a world power in the next 5 years. By 2015 India will be the number 2 economy in the world after China. After 300 years of British rule and 40 years of being suppresed in closed walls, India is breaking through the seams and racing ahead. All of this chaos is needed for the calmness to appear. But what is life without some chaos? It has to go through the pain to achieve its past glory, as a peaceful, spiritual and vibrant society where yoga originated 5000 years ago.

India is country of many cultures, languages, ideologies. Shashi equates India to a thali (plate) of many curries and they share one thing in common, the incredible spices. I think the government PR needs to change the slogan from "Incredible India" to "Incredibly Spicy India". Its the spices, the culmination of so many flavors and tastes, the dust, the noise, the sweat, the contradictions in the coexistence of calm with chaos that makes India so unique. All of this is what makes India incredible!

Namaste

The Yogi