Thursday, July 9, 2009

The balance is back - 7 days of yoga and counting

It was imminent that I would wake up one day and realize that I had gone astray. I had let myself go again! Over the last six months I had become complacent and let the stress consume me inside. Outwardly, I was starting to eat my stress out and had let my physical practice or yoga and walking slip to the sidelines. I was starting to balloon.

I had the usual excuses - too busy, too much work, travel, bad food. It all hit me at once, when I hit 210 pounds in June 2009 and then by June end I was 214 pounds. I couldn't fit in my pants, my asthma returned, and I was starting to slip into the hole of depression.
Finally there is a realization and eureka moment! "Just take care of yourself first"! In that awareness I made a pact with myself. I had planned Munoso's intense one week workshop in the first week of July in San Franciso at Abode of Yoga. I couldn't attend it as one of the days was a day with my children. That was more important that any yoga in the world. So I made a promise to myself - I would practice yoga every day I was denied time with my children starting July 1. That was a 14 day stretch. Not only would I practice yoga, but I would restart my walking, watch my food intake and let the stress go away from within.

It has been 9 days. I have taken a yoga class for the last 7 days. I have walked 2-3 miles every other day and I have restarted the healing of my mind, body and soul. I went on the scale today. I am down to 210 pounds. The soreness from the first few days has dissipated. I have gone back to the path of centering myself. It has been a re-learning of what I learnt for the last 3 years - how to calm your mind and how to connect to your mind and soul through your body.
Everything I learnt is steadily coming back. There is no more sadness as much as there is no more happiness . There is no more an expectation of where I "should" be in my life right now. I am where I am, and I couldn't be at any other place. So I accept where I am, and I just go with the flow of life, with the only one end goal and that is to remain in my neutral space. Everything else including the weight will simply melt away. The balance is slowly returning and I felt it in my sirsasana yesterday. I can really balance on my head now, better than I had ever before.

That was my realization today and with it melted away my writing block......I am back to blogging.. slowly but surely!


The Yogi