Friday, July 4, 2008

Reduce conflict by reducing expectations

We frequently face conflict in our lives because we can't deliver to someone's expectation or we expect too much from others. When they fail expectations, we get angry, upset and forget all the good in them because of one failed expectation. I see that everyday at work when angry customers call me because someone didn't meet their expectations in service or the product failed them. Some hold on to that as a grudge and constantly bring conflict. It doesn't serve them well in the long run. I see that in my personal life as well.

With yoga I have learn't to detach from the stress caused by conflict, but at the same time I have learn't to not expect the world from others. I had written in an earlier post about "expectations reducing joy". I came accross these words of wisdom and wanted to share them. They are around the same thought of expectations and forgiveness and focusing on positive in others:

Are you always having heated arguments with people who matter, and saving the best of your behaviour for people who don't? Many of us unleash our frustrations on the people who are closest to us. In the process, we end up hurting our loved ones and create distances that take years to bridge. When a loved one hurts you, try and think about all the good that they have done for you in the past. You will see a lot of pain getting erased. You will then realize that it is after all not fair to forget all good deeds for one bad deed.

Expectations are a root cause of most fights and heartache. If you stop expecting a lot from your friends and family, you will see most conflicts getting erased.

Let this be the mantra for today and the future.


The Yogi

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