If you are angry count to ten before you speak - Thomas Jefferson

If you are really angry, count to a hundred, before you speak ! I read this quote on the wall at the Hindu Temple in Grays Lake, IL, a suburb of Chicago. I was attending a puja in remembrance of my mother who passed away on August 25th, four years ago. It is a tradition in our family to remember our loved ones who passed away on their birthdays and the death anniversary.

Recently I was challenged by someone who said this tradition was not "Indian". Remembrance is not just an Indian tradition - its a universal tradition. This was one of the oddest comments I have ever heard. It had bitterness and anger like hot lava flowing from a volcano. I wonder if the commenter had a loved one to miss? How can you not afford to remember your loved ones and not recognize those important days? It is a tradition I want to pass on to my children, just I learned from my own parents and grandparents. Every weekend I drive by a beautiful cemetery and its full of flowers left by loved ones of those who lie in the beautiful west hills of Portland. I was reminded by Guruji's interview in the upcoming movie Enlighten Up, where is he describes yoga as universal in the words of Patanjali.

So coming back to yoga - I was very intrigued by this quote and how anger can allow us to become so insane, that we lose all objectivity in life and let selfish and bitterness engulf us. We lower ourselves to a level that is inhuman and the vitriolic words come out of our mouths as painful as any actions that may result of anger. Both in business and personally I encounter anger nearly every day. I used to react to anger with anger... but as I become more attuned with my yoga practice, I have slowly learnt to remain detached from it. Its not that angry feelings don't come my way, I think it is natural to become angry when you are provoked. But becoming detached to the provocation or the provocative behavior allows you simply hold the reactions.

I can't even describe how less stressful that is.. So Jefferson is right counting a mindless 100 maybe the best you can do in order to hold your speak and calm down or take a time out from the anger. Or, you could try a yoga pose. Several come to my mind that I have tried, which includes a half uttanasana, with every attempt to open my chest and breathing deeply. Sometimes at home I will attempt the AdhoMukhaVriksasana. Focusing all your attention on your arms and shoulders puts all that energy into lifting you up vs pouting anger.

Readers' please give me your ideas and input through comments on how "count" when you get angry. Lately, when I am angry or upset, I have gone to read Mary Dunn's blog. She gets so many wonderful comments from so many people. Everyone of these wonderful souls ends with "I love you" or "With love" to Mary. How many souls she has touched. It is uplifting and inspiring and it always warms my heart. I wish that love on everyone.

For the last several days I have been in the Chicago area to visit my brother and his family, that includes a new born son. My little yoginis are in heaven with their cousins and it has been sheer joy and nothing else. All the anger, the hurt, the pain, the wars and the battles seem distant. There has been no yoga but I have experienced my older one do back and forward flips under water, like a dolphin and self taught. I call them water back and forward bends. She pulled off a shirsasana-2 in the play ground for me. Its just pure joy to see her do such things as she becomes a yogi at heart...

Namaste

The Yogi

Good Life Good Death - A great book by Gehlek Rimpoche

I read this book during my two weeks of late night and early morning bliss in Pune. What a wonderful book! He is one of the great teachers of Buddhism in the west. He was brought up in an upper-crest Tibetan family belonging to the 13th Dalai Lama and had to undergo the harsh life of the formal training of an incarnate lama. In 1959 he escaped with the current Dalai Lama to India. In this book he discusses reincarnation, life and death but what I found most compelling was his discussion about emotions like anger, patience, kindness, jealousy, pride and ego and how the connect to both our past as well as our future in life after life. I read about Buddhism as a kid but never explored more about it till I started reading this book.

Rimpoche says emotions like anger will bother you much more in your future life and at the time of your death than any physical problem. The mind goes with you but the body stays. This is very eye opening. He says emotions change the mind and they pop into the mind suddenly. The inner mind is pure, he calls it the natural mind. When you encounter the natural mind, it is a relaxing feeling - much to the like of what Guru BKS Iyengar talks about what yoga asanas can do for you in your journey to the inner mind.

So when emotions like Anger pop up our inner mind is clouded. It goes from a clear transparent mind, to red, cloudy and disturbed. It creates tremendous negativity around us and others around us. The older we get, the more we tend to hang on to such negative emotions, because trying to bring positive emotions in replacement is a struggle. We have over the years trained our mind with negative emotions. They may give us temporary relief but long term it is a recipe for destruction. But like anything these emotions are impermanent and we just have strive to get rid of these emotions. Rimpoche also says that such problems we face today, the emotional problems, the fears, anxieties are nothing but delusion. We have to work with such delusions to overcome them. We cannot make a deal with delusions - that's like making a deal with the devil. We have to work to overcome them.

Anger is very expensive and it can cause hurt and harm. Unless we can counter it with patience it will cost one spiritually a tremendous amount of virtue. Anger impacts the future tremendously. He says like fire anger consumes a lot of fuel and this fuel is created by positive virtues. Positive virtue take a lot of time, thinking and sacrifice. One moment of anger can destroy that. Anger is also addictive. Once it becomes a habit it can effortlessly pop out, like a toast from a toaster. It may give us temporary relief, but it has destroyed a life long work of positive karma which will take a lifetime to recreate.

Buddha says

There is no error greater than hatred, And nothing mightier than patience.
So I strive in every day to learn patience

Rimpoche's words are deep, compelling and striking but simple to understand. The message is so clear - Anger is the cause of most human destruction in this world. By practicing yoga, I have learnt more patience and I am less inclined to get negative emotions take over me. It is not possible to completely eliminate anger from your life, but by working on positive emotions you can detract it. I work on it every day through my own tumultuous life. I try my best to pass on positive emotions to my children and remind them that anger is not the way to deal with things. Its interesting to see how anger and kindness pops into kids. Kindness, compassion and understanding are virtues we need to pass on daily to our children and re-enforce them, so they will not become addicted to Anger when they grow up. Anger along with our mind will carry on to our next life. I would highly suggest reading this book - angry or not!

May peace, love, patience and kindness be the center of your lives.


Namaste

The Yogi